|THE COMMUNITY HAS VOTED - SHUT DOWN 4CA!|
Dimwit John MacKenzie replies, "well absolutely right, Margaret that's the feeling around Cairns by the vast majority of people".
With that, Cueball and his sidekick "Don't Rape Me" Gavin King have now outlined their vision for government in Far North Queensland. The only two clauses in the CUEBALL-KING CONSTITUTION FOR CAIRNS ARE:
Article I: Elected leaders can't do anything unless submitted to a plebiscite.
Artcle II: Ratepayers will only pay for services they use.
With this new CUEBALL-KING CONSTITUTION in place, the Cairns Regional Council will only be able to charge residents for the government services they actually use.
GPS meters will be installed in every motor vehicle in the Cairns Region. Drive on the Cook Highway? You'll receive a bill. Get off the highway onto a local road, you'll receive a different bill, as the road is under local ownership. Road crews will all now include a council employee with a "tip jar" - no tip, see how long you sit there with the lollipop man holding the STOP sign in front of you.
Of course, all parking is charged. Even on private property, where council planning staff was used to approve the parking, this parking will incur a charge.
Then you'll need to get out and walk on the footpath? One can opt for the "tread count" charge, or the optional $259/year flat fee which includes all council footpaths - - and as we're having a sale this week you can include pushbike riding on the footpath for only $1.99 additional! This sale price however doesn't include locking up that pushbike at the library ($1/hour), nor the library "browse" fee of $10 per visit. A "Frequent Browser" card will be available in the next financial year, but in a moment of largess the library will hold their book charge to 50cents per day, per book.
And while you're out, be sure to stop at the bank for some nice crisp $10 notes, because one will need to be included with your bin for collection. And your son Flipper will need a $10 note to use the new skate park, or Muddy's Playground.
Need a copper? You'll all be pleased to note the QPS is set up to answer your calls promptly; they take Visa and Mastercard (but obviously no American Express). Thanks for the reminder, Athena!
Of course dog licensing will need to increase, however Council does offer a rebate for every time your dog shits on council-owned shrubbery, saving money on fertiliser. However Council under no circumstances will credit 4CA or Gavin King for the piles of shit they leave outside their workplaces, as their shit has proven to have little substance of value.
Tourists of course get everything for free because after all that's what Cairns is for. Kind of like a big outdoor "Disneyland in the Tropics", without the popcorn.
We here at the Hillbilly Watch look forward to this new and exciting method of governance as advocated by John MacKenzie and Gavin King, and as the Daintree Ferry sadly doesn't pay its way despite the charge, council has scrapped it. All those living north of the Daintree River don't need to worry about any more pesky road charges getting to Mossman. They'll have to swim for it.
And don't pat the crocs - this ain't a kiddie zoo, ya' know.