4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

30 January 2012


Here at the Hillbilly Watch Blog, we're philosophically opposed to the "party" system as it's currently being represented to the citizenry.  The stunningly piss-poor performance of the MP's for Cairns, Barron River, Cook, and daddy's little boy in Mulgrave, while being the government in power for over ten years is proof positive that we need another direction.  This isn't working for us.

Then the opposition LNP party proffers to us a brain dead charlatan, who's personal ethics include hating women, Catholics, and aboriginals, along with the infirm, the impotent, and the immoderate as their response to our political isolation! Cairns voters are starting to understand why we're in for the rough end of the stick no matter which party we support.

So we were excited to hear this morning that ex-copper D.J. "Darren" Hunt, essentially an independent who's saddled up with the Katter mob, released his "Eight Steps to Address Crime in Cairns".  Finally, we thought we were about to get some real policy, and real sensible steps to address the growing crime issues so important to a tourist-centric economy.

Darren. Seriously, mate. Eight steps?  This ain't a policy, mate. More like Eight Platitudes.  Eight Slogans.  Eight Hallucinations.  Eight Bumper Stickers.  Do you think we're all as stupid as Bob Katter?

1.  Put the community first.  WTF?
2.  Get rid of the current government.  Duh.
3.  Legislative reform of the bail act.  What reform?  For what reason?  Lower bails for criminal MP's?
4.  Legislative change to parole in general.  Why?  For what reason?
5.  Ensure crimes get penalties that meet community expectations.  What expectations?  John MacKenzie and his Division 6 candidate Barry Neale want aboriginal parkies to get the death penalty.  Is that the community who you're reflecting?
6.  Cease the waste of money on things that don't work, and use it on things that do.   D.J., you been eating wild mushrooms?
7.  Provide those in jail with "meaningful study/employment programs".  So you're squarely in the "rehabilitation" camp, and opposed to the "punishment" of crims?  Sure you don't want a job in the ALP?
8.  Implement a "prisoner incentive scheme".   Sounds like an expansion of the "country club" system of jails.  Or is this more like Qantas points and a catalog filled with fabulous prizes?

How is any of this going to fight crime?  Admit it, Darren - you just pulled this out of your arse, didn't you?  Didn't even bother to turn the spell-check on.

A real policy looks something like this.  Sorry, I've got ten.  Get a notepad, mate.  

1.  Eliminate state control of police, which should be a local council function.  This will eliminate the current wholesale movement of police around the state like dominos, and stop the current politically-driven policy of putting well-performing police management in the Brisbane area, and moving the inexperienced, duds, and defectives to the regional areas.  Local management of local police.
2.  Guarantee the Cairns CBD has full-time foot patrols, and on-demand bicycle patrols, being done by the same teams of police, so that they get to know the merchants AND the troublemakers.
3.  Reassign traffic police from most ineffective speed control money-raising schemes to the known death-causing traffic issues - with capture and incarceration of drink drivers the primary accident reduction issue.  And get all the fuckers blocking the right lanes at 70k, texting on their phones.  
4.  Introduce changes that require judges to stand for public election at regular intervals in their local judicial districts.  Eliminating bleeding heart "everyone gets time served" judges like Sarah Bradley will ensure judges reflect the local community standards, or get removed.
5.  Remove cable television, internet access, and other luxuries from the jails.  The only path to sentence reduction is work.
6.  Juvenile property crimes require as part of their sentence full compensation to the victims by the criminals and their parents or legal guardians with the offenders named.
7.  Juvenile crimes of significant violence, or repeat violent offenders, tried and sentenced as adults.
8.  The "secrecy" of the police and courts be eliminated.  Police departments around the world routinely publish their daily "blotter" of police activity, showing ALL the jobs they've been called to, and the resolution.  Transparency in the crime fighting by our police will allow residents to be fully informed of crime trends instead of the current blanket of secrecy that the public is subjected to by the police.
9.  Encourage police recruits to come from the ranks of retired military, as they are in many countries around the world.  They've already learned discipline, group dynamics, protecting their mate, and won't take shit from anyone.  With a change in recruiting policy, police assaults by the public will go down.
10.  Left-turn on red light.  Peter Beattie promised this to us ten years ago.  

We had such high hopes for you, and you let us down, Darren.  Bob Katter's a moron.  Doesn't mean you have to be, too.  Give it another go.



Anonymous said...

Pissed myself laughing when I read former PC Plod's so-called policies! What a joke and obviously well suited to the Mad Katter's Party. Get rid of the current government really cracked me up! This dickhead does not realise that we have separation of powers and that we are not living in Nazi Germany.

Curly Joe said...

Of course Taliban Mullah Omar King will have his solution:-.
1. WOMEN AND GIRLS must be appropriately dressed in black sheets so as not to deliberately incite lust in males like whores.
2. WHORES will be summarily beheaded.
3. A WHORE is a woman or girl appearing in public unsuitably attired and without the accompaniment of a male. Mullahs can decide which woman or girl is a whore.
4. A WOMAN WHO COMPLAINS ABOUT BEING RAPED is a whore and must be beheaded instantly.
5. THIEVES will have their hands lopped off.
6. BEGGARS will be summarily executed with beheading.
7. ADULTERESSES will be stoned to death.
8. WOMEN who contradict men will be stoned to death.
9. MEN who are sick and tired of their wives may divorce them by repeating "I LOVE TALIBAN MULLAH TALIBAN OMAR KING" three times.
10. ALL PEOPLE must kneel and kiss the ground in front of Mullah Taliban Omar King or be beheaded.

CBD Warrior said...

Say Curly Joe,

In a Gavin King-led Cairns, it sounds like we'll all be either getting stoned, or at least a lot of head.

That can't be a bad thing. .

D.J.HUNT said...

Thanks for the constructive criticism, always helpful. Just a couple of things though. The comments were in the comments section of my website, not policy. They were comments which were a summary of things I have covered in detail previously. It is by no means an exhaustive list but it is a list of things that can be done within 6 months with little to no cost to taxpayers and will halve our crime rates.
The other aspects of our policy, and some issues you raise, that will take longer to achieve and justification of funding will also be covered soon.
Clearly the Hillbilly Watcher has high hopes for me if this story gets a run before the drop the word 'Base' from 'Cairns Base Hospital' to fix our health woes. So I look forward to the critique of our actual policy and I'll try not to be a moron and I promise not to sing in public.
Ohh and I'll use spellckehc

Anon No. 4 said...

well, I always reckon crime prevention starts in the home. What do you reckon, dazza?

nomooremike said...

"So I look forward to the critique of our actual policy"

So where are your policies Darren, they don't appear to be on your web site?

Anonymous said...

Darren, do you honestly expect this site to criticize Kirsten Lesina? Not going to happen

Anonymous said...

Soooo..... being a copper gives you some authority to speak on law and order issues. Well as a local Cairns copper, and one who's been here for some time here's my few cents worth.

DJ, you were hopeless as a copper. Ask anyone who worked with you at Kowanyama. In fact, why don't you tell the good folk of Cairns why you had to leave Kowanyama. It certainly wasn't by choice on your part. But tell them anyway. If you are using your police service as some sort of badge of authority on law and order issues or as evidence of your suitability to be a member of Parliament, then you need to tell the whole story.

As for your claims that your pie in the sky sound bites will reduce crime, well mate you need to do some reading. And if you think this list of things can get done in six months, you're a bigger nutter than Bob Katter.

Fred Blogs said...

Do you live in the electorate, DJ, or is that just a minor matter?

Anonymous said...

Be fair nomooremike! It will be a massive step for D.J. to move from off the cuff campaign slogans to comprehensive policy statements. I would not hold your breath waiting for anything of any substance to be posted on his web site or the KAP web site for that matter. They are not seeking thinking voters so no need for real policies.

Bus. Op. said...

I wouldn't under-estimate the attraction of Katter's party folks. Remember One Nation? Voters in FNQ voted in a member of that party with a very (and I mean very) dubious background. You wouldn't have wanted that fellow live in the same street as you, but he ended up a Member of Parliament. Yeah we all know we have a problem with "law and order" but those of us who can think understand that the cost of building more prisons, hiring prisons staff, correction officers blah blah blah is pretty astronomical. Then again a prison sentence doesn't necessarily rehabilitate the offender. Sometimes I reckon bringing back the public stocks for public ridicule like they had in medieval times, plus public floggings might be a hell of a lot cheaper and much more of a deterrent to certain types of crime!!

Tony Hillier said...

Politicians of all persuasions get an easy ride from indolent and ignorant local meedya outlets. If it weren't for Hillbilly Watch and the odd intelligible letter to the editor that slips past the gatekeeper at the Compost, there would be no surveillance to speak of. It's no surprise that the populace is so ill-informed and poorly represented!

KitchenSlut said...

Dear Hillbilly,

I was wondering if you could help me with a rather embarrassing social problem? I feel deeply rejected and depressed because I have been blocked by Gavin King on Facebook and also Kirsten Lesina on Twitter.

Can social media rejection get much worse than that do you think? As far as I can recall the worst I did to Kirsten was suggest she was deliberatey trying to run third to elect DJ Hunt on preferences.

Apart from that I think she is sort of cute and I love the idea to change the name of the hospital.

Anonymous said...

I've got a couple of questions for DJ Hunt. First - I accept that your comments are not policy. So what are they? Is the eight step miracle plan an election promise? Are you promising to do these things in the most unlikely event that you 1. get elected, and 2. have any sway in Parliament at all? Are these the fundamentals of the KAP law and order platform? What are they DJ? Given you will never have the numbers to do any of this, are they just empty words?

Second - what's anonymous talkign about in Kowanyama? On your web site you boast that you were a cop once. It's like you are saying you can be trusted or something. It's like saying you are honest or reliable or something, just because you were in the police. Well if there are some questions about that then you need to answer them.

Over to you DJ

Anonymous said...

From today's Courier Mail (speaks for itself):

"BIG-HATTED Bob Katter remains convinced his party will storm to a win at the ballot box despite polls suggesting that's a fanciful dream.

A Galaxy Poll last week showed Katter's Australia Party had failed to gain further ground, with support remaining steady at 4 per cent - well behind frontrunner the LNP's 49 per cent."

Curly Joe said...

Just got my eletioneering leaflet in the mail box today from D J Hunt. Yep hes gonna dredge the inlet and give us a rectangular footie stadium. Hallelujah, as bogan said. We're all gonna be saved from extinction.

CBD Tarzan said...

LNP are blaming Joolia for the possible extingshion of the Koala.
Tapping into the pro Koala vote is a stroke of pure genius.
Gavin King is the Koala's friend.
Sits in his tree does fuck all and shits on anyone below him.

Anonymous said...

Just saw DJ's furious leader on ABC news re: Cyclone Yasi. I am now convinced that Katter is a real nutjob and an absolute joke, hence their 4 per cent popularity among voters. By the way DJ, the dodgy former copper, the CEP has been voted on through a democratic process, so suck it up you pathetic loser! If Cairns wants a rectangular stadium in a 3000 mm a year climate, then why don't the sports types lobby for it, much like the Cairns arts community have done for the CEP over the past 20 years! You are so out if touch mate.

bogan said...

Yeah there all out there electioneering alright. Last weekend I had someone come a knock knock knocking on my door. Well when I opened the door there was this young chick standing there with this big smile on her face, so I slammed the door shut, quick fucken smart before she could lean forward and say "JESUS LOVES YOU!"
Looked exactly like one of them Jehovahs Witnesses, you know all squeaky shiny clean, smelling of palmolive soap and minty toothpaste and looking so new like she just fucken jumped out of a box. Reckon she'll probably get a few hundred doors slammed in her face out at Bentley. It wasn't until much later hey when I was on the bog I realised who she was hey.

bogan said...

Thought Id mention I saw old Kev Byrne in town the other day too. He's as fat as a suicide bomber. Give a good fart and he'll explode hey.

Anonymous said...

we note the silence from the LNP don't question us is deafening...wonder why the no shows for Sunday in city place.

athena said...

I wouldn't dismiss Katter or his party so lightly, Hillbilly. Looking at the big picture, Katter is a response to the enormous forces of neo-liberalism, those Raeganist free-market globalist crazy ideas which had so much dramatic impact on our own Australian political landscape. Both the ALP and the LNP were heavily influenced by neo-liberalism and both have contributed to dropping tariffs and import duties, de-regulating banks, privatising and corporatising former Government enterprises. We all now know this has had a deleterious impact on our economy and our way of life.
Katter stands for more state intervention in the economy. He wants the re-introduction of tariffs, subsidies, industry protectionism, and import duties. He opposes free trade agreements and supports state owned industries. In other words, he is an agrarian socialist.
When he was a State Member of Parliament in the Joh Bjelke Petersen Government, elected in 1974, Katter enthusiastically denounced socialism in all its forms. The Federal elections of 1975 and 1977 in which Gough Whitlam and socialist Labor were overwhelmingly defeated, paved the way for neo-liberalist policies to be introduced. Katter was in fact, part of this assault on Labor's interventionalist (socialist) economic policies and beliefs.
The Australian people also allowed themselves to be seduced and fooled by the political propaganda at the time, ie that "socialism is all bad."
So here we have it, with neo-liberalist or free market economic policies starting to go arse up, and Katter is now part of the charge to bring in more State interventionist policies. I confess I support his views on the need for a more interventionist economic policy and to throw neo-liberalism to the Devil. Doubtless, there are many more of us out there who do.

Anon No. 4 said...

Not just problems in Kowanyama, anonymous. problems right at home, too.

FOO said...

The silence from DJ Hunt is deafening! Please tell us all about what really did happen in Kowanyama. As was said before...It's over to you DJ. FOO