4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

19 March 2012



We've taken into account many of the insightful comments made here over the last few months, as well as our own research and listening to the candidates.

As an election, sadly we're likely fucked no matter what we do here.  While several candidates and minor parties are "selling" their idea that they can get more money for Cairns and FNQ, the reality is that they can't.  The overweight representation of the Brisbane region, combined with the Westminister system of "party line voting", means that the real villain in all this is the parliamentary system - which can't be corrected by just voting an empty suit to represent us.

The primary issue for Cairns is to select representatives that can, in the likely environment, influence the Parliament to treat Cairns fairly and equitably.  A member who doesn't have the respect of his colleagues will be ineffectual at representing the people.  Witness Jim Turnour, who's federal colleagues openly laughed on the rare occasions he stood to string a few words together.  

This election is more about electoral punishment for the abusive ALP government, and Anna Bligh is only partially the culprit.  Bligh has been a victim of the consummate scammer, Peter Beattie, who did most of the damage and then magnanimously handed Bligh a huge bag of shit.  And Bligh was unable to dig her way out, in large part because of the incompetence of Andrew Fraser.  It's perfectly reasonable that the electorate has decided to punish the Labor party by voting them out.  Elections aren't about what a party is going to do - it's about what they've done.  It may not be sensible, but that's the reality.  Believing any of these people's promises is absurd in the extreme.

The Greens candidates are unworthy of consideration. None have any history of community participation, none have actively campaigned, and one, Geoff Holland, seems a little unstable.  They're being used by the ALP as lefty shills.  Forget 'em.


This contest is an easy pick.  Gavin King is a jerk, and will be unable to work with the LNP, even in government.  Kirsten Lesina is a bag of hammers; a Desley Boyle with even worse hair.  This leaves the two minor party candidates, Darren Hunt and John Piva.  Both are well-spoken, though Hunt has a tendency to hyperbole.  However we've decided the Katter's Australia Party is an immoral and unviable choice.  We reached this decision from the anti-gay TV commercials, and the even more ludicrous "Chinese communists" taking our mining jobs ads running this week.  A candidate that would run on this basis is an embarrassment to Cairns.  John Piva's our choice.


Curtis Pitt holds this seat illegitimately.  He's the Kim Jong Eun of FNQ.  The voters of Mulgrave put the guy in when his old man abruptly retired, and likely put "1" in the Pitt box out of hillbilly stupidity.  Like all the FNQ Labor MP's, he's been the invisible man until the election has rolled around.  Projects he claims to have provided are in fact a decade or more late, and most still are just empty promises.  

No chance for KAP bagman Damien Byrnes, for the same reasons as above.  This leaves Mulgrave with Robyn Quick.  With the LNP due to take government, we surely won't be getting our share without some LNP members.  Quick is well-connected and a dedicated north Queenslander.  Robyn Quick's our choice.


Steve Wettenhall is even more useless than Curtis Pitt, and follows a long tradition of useless Labor members in Barron River.  Previous member Lesley Clark was a reliable Beattie lapdog and handpicked Wettenhall.  Brendan Fitzgerald, the KAP hobo?  Nope.  Michael Trout's Blazing Saddles has been on occasion a source of tourism embarrassment, but he's been dedicated to the Cairns region.  So too has NQ Party candidate Mike Squire, who has a strong business background and is well-spoken and confident.  We'd like to see Squire in the spot, and he's our choice.


The last of the FNQ ALP empty suits is Jason O'Brien, who's referred to in the communities as "the guy that done took our grog away".  No chance.  With a large aboriginal population, it's absurd to think the One Nation candidate Jim Evans has a snowballs chance.  Ignoring the Mad Katter idiot, this leaves the LNP candidate David Kempton.  Kempton is a "salt-of-the-earth" FNQ guy, in fact in our view the best candidate in the region.  A lawyer who's worked hard on the cape, he's got pastoralist ties, a good business sense, and leadership skills lacking in most of the FNQ candidates.  David Kempton's our choice, and we would guess he'll get a larger role in the LNP government straight away.  This will give us some clout we need to pull more investment into the region from the government.  

That's how we see it.  As always we welcome your comments and brickbats.  We're bulletproof.

But however it turns out, reasonable people are going to have a lot of work to do keeping an eye on these people.  The lame stream media doesn't do it anymore, they've been co-opted.  This is a participatory, representative democracy.  It's up to us.


Anonymous said...

Ha ha didnt you even consider the Greens?

Curly Joe said...

"Reasonable people are going to have a lot of work to do, looking out for these people." Yeah, right! If it was up to the public to keep the bastards honest, what the fuck do you think would happen? Nothing, that's what. Nothing.

Destiny Prophet said...

While I don't agree with all your choices Hillbilly, it's a thoughtful and well considereed selection.

I will be voting for Wettenhall who I think is a decent Labor candidate - I'm so glad I'm just over the border from the city - what a terrible choice in town. Thank God the council election's coming up where I get to vote with no reservations at all - Di and Val.

Anonymous said...

you should stick to Cairns Hillbilly. If you knew your facts you'd know that a) no one on the Cape speaks like Al Jolson and that every man and his dog on the cape knows that Kempton has built his career on opposing the Wik claimants and nearly every native title claim since Mabo

Bazza said...

Remember Dennis Quick, kevin byrnes personal assistant, got paid $100,000's of rate payers input, for what? Drinking piss with the boss, travelling mate to China under the guise of promoting tourism, to visit a mate who retired from Advance Cairns (local business controller) by the name of Maguire. quick even self proclaimed to be mayor of Babinda, maybe that is why he was able to get the entrance to his property bitumened at rate payers cost, hence my comments re separation of power.
As I understand quick was instrumental in choice of gavin king, now with the missus robyn doing the state bit as well and bob manning hanging around, Cairns is in for a BAD, SAD future if any of them are elected.
Interesting choice Hillbilly.

Len Larson said...

As a resident of Palm Cove, we're included in the Cook area. I don't know anything about the aboriginal issues on the Cape, and frankly am not very interested in the subject. I was mostly leaning towards returning Jason O'Brien to his seat. I've spoken to him before, he seems reasonably intelligent and genuine. However after reading Hillbilly Watcher's take on the seat, and a regional approach, I agree we wouldn't be very well off with an opposition member in an LNP government. I also spoke to a mate in Mareeba who heard Kempton at a forum there, and he too was impressed.

As such I'll be voting for Kempton, and hoping that he'll do the right thing for the Cairns area as a member for Cook.

Tony Hillier said...

Mr Hillbilly, methinks your slur of Steve Wettenhall is most disingenuous. If you lived in the Barron River region, you would be aware that Steve has served his electorate most diligently, and that he is a good bloke into the bargain. In many ways, he is a victim of his own lack of ostentation. He is the antithesis of a media whore. Yes, I know and like the guy, but I'm no admirer of State Labor. Michael Trout's sole claim to fame seems to be that he has worked in tourism, and, as you suggest, not always in the best interests of the industry.

Anonymous said...

That Dennis Quick is a rude, arrogant person and his missus will have a hell of a time keeping him out of George Street affairs if (and I doubt) she gets elected. Why do the LNP have only "has beens" having another go at being elected. Mrs Quick hasn't told us anything new and has yet to give details of costings.

nomooremike said...

@ Len Larson

What a piss poor excuse for not voting for someone!

So you vote by guessing who is going to win?

Boganette of Bayview said...

Hey Len- Palm Cove is in Barron River!

Was chatting with the hubby last night and we haven't decided who we're voting for, except we can't vote for Namby Pamby King. He said he was ready not to vot for Lesina until he heard her at the Chamber of Commerce do and he said she was bloody smart.

Apparently DJ has a nice arse in jeans, but not sure how that would help Cairns and as for Piva- well he wants to stay in Cairns and have parliament move here or something.

Let's hope the council election is easier.

Destiny Prophet said...

Has anyone else heard that the LNP amateur spruikers have been told to shut up now and stay off the internet because it's in the bag unless someone says something stupid?

Anonymous said...

@ Len Larson. you can luv up to anti-Indigenous rights campaigner David kempton all you like, he's not going to be on any ballot paper you'll get to scrawl your blatherings on. Palm Cove has been part of Barron River for the last 4years or so.

You can however take comfort in the knowledge that Aboriginal people on the cape aren't very interested in you either.


Anna's started running TV commercials today acknowledging they're going to get annihilated, and obliquely threatening that this will be like Joh Bjelke Petersen's time.

She then pleads with the viewer to forget the years of incompetence, arrogance, financial mismanagement, and ALP scandal machine, and at least elect a few of them.

She looks like a frightened wildebeest in this advertisement.

Don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.

Can't Wait Till It Is Over said...

This site has become a propaganda machine for ALP.It was more fun reading about some of the true local dickheads that ring up on MacKenzie all of the time, like Raj from Edmonton.
Steve Wettenhall is the most useless Politician we have had for years. A true "nose in the trough" public servant who went from Legal Aid to slime into power on the back of scumbag green preferences.He was second past the post last time. That means that more people didn't want him than did.
Hopefully he loses on Sat and just watch he will change his nose from the Political trough back to the legal one and I bet Lesina ends up with him in some Gov paid handout position.
I can't believe that some Cairns residents actually think Labor has done the right thing by us over the past 3 yrs.

Ron said...

The Joh years look like returning with Newman promising to "overhaul the Local Government Act". Yep, as someone said, you can hear the white shoe brigade cracking open the champers.

Liz said...

I would agree with your selection for the seat of Cairns, Hillbilly. However, I don't think John Piva stands much of a chance as the media seem to have locked out the NQ Party. I also wonder just how much clout a person representing a minority party would have in an LNP dominated Government, without any political opposition? He would be a voice in the wilderness. I disagree however with your choice for Mulgrave. Many people have followed their fathers into politics and carried on a "family" tradition. I think of people such as Doug Anthony, Mike Ahern and Bob Katter who all moved into their fathers seats. I think the voters of Mulgrave have a better deal than the rest of us, they ae getting "two for the price of one" as Pitt Senior is still very much extant!

Anonymous said...

Destiny Prophet I think your right. They ought not let Tony Abbott back in Q'land until this election is over. He's sure to make another big gaffe. Let's leave it to King to blurb out something ridiculous - if we can find him at any of the public forums.

KitchenSlut said...

I completely disagree with your assessment of Piva who was just another Ketter style populist xenophobe candidate at last weeks mining v tourism forum. His main aim was that there had been too much focus on culture in Cairns and opposition to Council and EP which sits somewhat incongruosly with the focus of Hillbilly?

Further,I disagree with the position on Curtis Pitt. Regardless of how he got the position he is a local and clearly the outstanding representative in our region currently. He is also unusually a genuinely nice guy for politics a view I know held by the shreds of decency remnant in the LNP!

I find I can't support the LNP candidate for Cairns despite being previously an LNP suporter! That's fine as I have become pretty used to being on the wrong side of a landslide for subsequently valid ultimately valid reasons.

PS: Robyn Quicik? Seriously? Hahahahahahahahaha

athena said...

For once, I agree with your views Kitchen Slut. If there is one outcome, just one outcome, I do not want, is to see gobsnot King elected as the Member for Cairns. What a cruel travesty of justice that would be! America can have Sarah Palin as President, Australia can have Tony Abbott as Prime Minister, Queensland can have Newman as Premier, but please - if there is a God in Heaven, hear my prayer - don't let King win on Saturday!

Anonymous said...

Hillbilly, I don't go along with all your choices but at least you have seriously looked at the pros and cons of all the candidates as you see them, which is more than a lot of people are going to do before next Saturday.
I lived through the Joh years, as a consequence I have always thought that it is not healthy for one party to be in power for too long. So this could be the election when the worm turns, though the LNP this time doesn't sit well with me. The Newman/King factors had a very powerful negative effect on me. Luckily I have Steve W to vote for. I can only judge him on his performance. Let me tell you, he is at every event, meeting and public gathering I attend(lots). He is very approachable and happily listens to everyone that wants to bend his ear.
I am thrilled Hillbilly that you gave the KAP it's rightful place at the bottom of the pile.
It's going to be an interesting week coming up...

John Piva, NQ Party said...

I didn't say there was too much focus on culture KitchenSlut, I asked the panelist whether they thought enough was being done to lure backpackers and adventure tourists to the region. Lets face it, Cairns will never be able to postition itself as the "Broadway" of the South Pacific and in fact at it's most popular would be better described as the Gold Coasts little brother. I simply commented that it seems as though many within the Cairns community are somewhat embarrased of what we used to be when in reality, what we USED to be was a great place to visit and as such, a great place to live.

Anonymous said...

Ron, the relapse to Joh days are happening even before the election is decided. One of the major financiers of the LNP, Clive Palmer is already setting the political climate of Queensland for the next few years with his lunatic claims of the CIA controlling the Greens and environment groups in an effort to destroy his empire. The lunatics are already taking over the asylum. On the bright side, having endured those dark days, at least a lot of us will know what to expect.

Anonymous said...

Brendan Fitzgerald the HOBO! haha
I agree this dope has no chance.
Move the school accross the road at caravonica?? Shit what a stupid idea!! Go smoke a joint and play your drums you wanker


(Last Anonymous)

I think you've got a good understanding of our analytical process here, and I respect your comments very much.

I agree that the LNP doesn't sit well; the sudden anointing of Campbell Newman and the lack of real talent in the ranks. Perhaps we'll get lucky and find some gems in the group nominated by the LNP for this election, it's very hard to say.

And as I tried to convey, we have no joy in most of the candidates for Queensland Parliament this time around. It's sad our region couldn't seem to find any community leaders that have a track record, and instead have been saddled with has-beens and wanna-bees.

Curly Joe said...

Joh used the scaremongering tactics of "reds under the beds" to great effect in Queensland during his reign of terror. Environmentalists, academics, trade unionists, whoever did or might disagree with him were all branded "pinkos". It was an insane era, and here we have Palmer bringing it all back.

Bus.Op. said...

Its a hard choice for those of us in the seat of Cairns to make. I feel as if we will lose with whoever we vote for. I cannot bring myself to vote for King who has used his media position to ruthlessly belittle and humiliate any person who might be his political opponent and who used Radio 4CA for blatantly free political campaigning. I just can't decide but I know it will be with a very heavy heart that I vote on Saturday.

Destiny Prophet said...

Palmer is hysterical - remember when it was the far lefties and pot crazed uni students who saw the CIA's devious hand everywhere?

From supporting Pinochet and Marcos to Greenpeace - now that's a gigantic leap.

BTW: I notice all the comments from those of us who vote in Barron River are supportive of Steve Wettenhall - that must say something about his effectiveness as member.

Anonymous said...

Mate, Curtis Pitt is a decent hard working bloke. He has worked his arse off out here. He is actually a very poolite guy that I see at Bentley Village every few weekends even when there is not election.

Roybn Quick is a nasty little puppet of her nasty little husband. Sets up fake action groups to try and make out she is a local activists. She couldn't lie straight in bed.

Give me a break hillbilly. You are wrong on this one.

KitchenSlut said...

Piva. What you have said is inconsistent with my notes and recollection.

Anonymous said...

hillbilly did do any research on The Greens at all,or just listen to Clive Palmer.

bogan said...

Yeah well I've had a gutful of gobsnot. Each time I turn on the radio there he is now, yabbering away about how good he is, knows this, knows that, been here, been there, done this, done that, knows it all. Wank, wank, wank. Thank Christ he's not my candidate. I feel for the poor bastards in the seat of Cairns hey.

Dina said...

Well I dont know about that bogan. I mean if King is elected, then he won't be living on 4CA all day will he? He will be in George Street where, knowing his big mouth, he will soon make enemies. There are a couyple of journos down at the Courier Mail watching him, thats obvious.
If he is elected, it will only be for one term.

Neil said...

The latest opinion pollon CRIKEY gives Newman 64 seats in the new Parliament, so that does it for me, I will be voting GREENS in Barron River and preferencing Wettenhall.

Liz said...

The huge majority Newman is expected to receive is a real worry Neil, I agree. With no parliamentary opposition, and a fully complicit media machine, that would give Newman and the LNP absolute power for many years. I find that too scarey a thought.

Anonymous said...

look at you, eating shit pie now aren't you, you fucking unionised slack jawed knuckle dragger...how's it going to feel when The Honourable member for Cairns, Mr King to you, peasant, takes his seat...taste it.....is it bitter? mmmmmmm.......tastes sweet to me.
Fuck you.

Liz at work early said...

Just a thought as I am sitting here waiting for my first client to arrive. With the real risk of having the LNP elected to a position of unprecedented untrammelled power, it does appear from this blog anyway, that potential swinging voters may have returned to the Labor fold, so to speak. In my case, while I intend to vote for Piva, I will be preferencing Lesina. The very thought of one party having so much power should make people more cautious at the ballot box on Saturday.

Dina said...

I don't know who "Anonymous" with his crude abuse is. While I have absolutely no doubts whatsoever that a victory would inflate King's already very high opinion of himself, if he insists on being called "Mister King", Iconfidently predict he will last only one term.
In any case, I am predicting he will be a "oncer."

Anonymous said...

The best news to come out of the election is that Dennis Quick never got over the line. Ooops... I mean Robyn Quick.