4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

08 October 2012


Cueball MacKenzie is now devoting at least one day a week into "damage control", as the FNQ MP's hit the Joh Bjelke Newman wall of inaction.  Today's defendant was Michael "Brothers Crimm" Trout, who's been saddled with implementing the MacKenzie "Whatever It Takes" crocodile management demands.

It's frankly hard to understand - crocs have killed an average of less than one person in Australia a year the last 25 years.  Bee stings kill three times as many.  We routinely let our overseas guests get mowed down by drunken FNQ drivers with impunity.  And yet the 300 hillbillies have been whipped into a frenzy by this week's "crisis plaguing the tourism industry".   Guess it's easier than rounding up the killer bees, or meting out actual punishment to drink drivers. 

Poor Trouty, he doesn't realise he's being hung out to dry by his LNP mates.  In charge of organising the CRC Crocodile Management Plan, council has scheduled this plan for discussion on Wednesday.  The plan matches the hysterical tone whipped up the last few weeks - "Zero Tolerance" for crocs in the city and on the Northern Beaches.  With some of this physical infrastructure being provided by a a couple hundred thousand $$$ pissed out on to Cairns by Brissy.

However the big ticket items are unfunded, and are known to cost plenty.  The Bligh government estimated the cost of finding and removing one croc at over $20,000.  With 14 said to be in the Barron River alone, someone's up for a big annual tab to remove these animals. Crocs, not unlike the other traditional owners of these lands, keep coming back no matter how many coppers you put out to shoo them away.  Some estimate $20-30M in North Queensland, as well as additional millions every year to fund a permanent "croc removal squad".  The CRC "plan" proposed completely ignores the removal costs under the delusion these will be paid by the Newman government.  

With the Newman government already caving on their six-month "Zero Tolerance" plan on CBD and youth crime, even a mouth-breather like John MacKenzie can see his Trouty mate is going to get screwed on the crocodile plans, too.  And he's already casting around for someone else to blame it on.  So Cueball decided to spread another vile rumour today - claiming insiders at council told him "the same people that allowed the palms in Port Douglas to be cut down are in charge of writing the Crocodile Management Plan".  And with IQ of the average MacKenzie listener rubbing up against 70, I guess this makes sense.  To them.

The Crocodile Management Plan looks to have been written by Russell Wild, coordinator of Natural Areas Management.  Did he have anything to do with the "palm tree crisis" in Port Douglas?  Don't know, don't care.  But Wild should be aware he's being set-up to take the fall for the failure of "Zero Tolerance" on crocs.  We can't let Trouty take the fall.  

And if you own a backhoe and live north of the city, keep an eye on it.


T.Asquith said...

Marine stingers are a far greater danger than crocs. Wonder what McKenzie and Trout can suggest to rid our tropical waters of them? I suppose it's stating the bleeding obvious to say that life has it's risks. But staying away from croc habitats and out of warm tropical waters in a sure way to avoid harm from both. Now walking innocently along Sheridan Street; well, that's another story ...

Terry said...

They never used to be a problem when handbags and shoes were made out of 'em.
Nuke 'em all I say.
Nuke 'em !!!

Anonymous said...

Sledgehammer McKenzie kept a very low profile on other matters today. The Alan Jones saga must have given him a bit of a reality check. He only allowed one call about it by a deluded AJ groupie towards the end of the show.

The croc story is obviously a welcome diversion. There is only one problem, the LNP rules the state totally, FNQ is wall to wall FNQ, so blaming extremist Greens is just not going to wash. The LNP is in charge. It is their problem to solve. Doesn't the Can Do government control its own departments ?

Anonymous said...

I know of two families (relatives) from down south who have cancelled holidays to Kewarra beach because they keep on hearing (reported in southern media) that there are crocodiles on the beaches north of Cairns. What is the point of coming to Cairns if they can't swim in the water. Maybe mackenzie and co are causing more damage to the tourist industry with this latest "crisis" beat up about a problem that is always here.

Anonymous said...

There must now be 302 people listening to John, and i didn't know he had such wide listening base. hahaha

Anonymous said...

I remember when Darwin tried fences to deter crocs entering creeks and swimming holes.The crocs tried to walk around and ended up in the streets asking for directions from confused locals.

Anonymous said...

We keep on hearing about how crocodile numbers have exploded due to the cancellation of crocodile shooting seasons etc. Well for fucks sake, how about looking at OUR human population explosion in Far North Queensland? Who can remember when Kewarra Beach for example was just bushland and a few cane paddocks?