4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

23 April 2013

AG JARROD BLEIJIE OFFERS LAME DEFENCE OF KURANDA BOOT CAMP LOCATION - THEN ANNOUNCES CREATIVE SOLUTION WITH NEW BOOT CAMP LOCATION IDENTIFIED

As first noted on the HBW blog months ago, the tender for the Cairns Boot Camp has been a frightful mess from day one.  First, the Member for MacKenzie Gavin "Don't Rape Me" King became self-appointed "boot camp czar", pushing for a group called "Team Wild"
ATTORNEY GENERAL IDENTIFIES NEW SITE
FOR CAIRNS BOOT CAMP
until a shocking report on the principal was tabled in Parliament by the Member for Mulgrave, Curtis Pitt.  With the community getting anxious and Jarrod Bleijie (say "Bligh") angry with the negative attention from King, the Kuranda location and vendor were selected "on the fly" with no community consultation, nor discussion with Trout.  It's now blown up for the LNP, with Bleijie, Michael Trout, and King all looking like fools and running for cover.


Bleijie then gets on the radio this morning, attempting to defend this cock-up.  In a ten minute diatribe that even Cueball couldn't interrupt, Bleijie defended the boot camp location in the residential area of Kuranda, comparing it to a "halfway house".  Our Attorney General ignoramus apparently doesn't understand the difference between CONVICTED CRIMINALS NEEDING PUNISHMENT and THOSE THAT HAVE ALREADY SERVED THEIR TIME.  Attorney General?  What a moron!  He also bristled at any suggestion he was "soft on crime" - one of his first acts was taking ice blocks off the menu at the juvenile detention centres!


But in a surprise move this afternoon, Jarrod Bleijie's office announced they have located a new, secure location where hard farm work and other boot camp-type activities would be done.  And while located somewhat closer to Cairns than Kuranda, it's in a rural location where escapees can't harm the neighbours.


TERRIFIC RURAL LOCATION WELL AWAY
FROM OTHER RESIDENTS AND HIGHLY
EXPERIENCED STAFF ALREADY ON SITE

Here's the entrance to this new location.  It's primarily a horse farm, so the teen criminals can do daily chores like shovelling horseshit.  Those who do especially well have been guaranteed jobs in Gavin King's office, learning from King's head horseshit shoveler Steve Grasso.

And the staff?  Bleijie has arranged for tough men, experienced with the criminal life.  One with a "lengthy drug-related criminal history" so they can relate to the teen crims.  What better than convicted criminals on good behaviour bonds?  

Steven Trout and Luke Trout, brothers of the Member for
Barron River Michael Trout, are such men, and stand ready to serve our community!  The boot camp will be conveniently located at the Trout-family owned "Blazing Saddles", where all of these amenities can be provided immediately.  The convenient rural location is just along Yorkey's Knob road, and with an active Neighbourhood Watch group already active there, residents are well-prepared for an influx of teen ratbags.

Thanks to MP Michael "Hide the Backhoe" Trout & family for stepping up with their long years of experience, and providing the community a workable solution to the teen criminal problem.







33 comments:

Anonymous said...

HBW

I cannot tell if you are serious or being sarcastic.

Wandering and wondering said...

If this is true have we ever witnessed a more in your face blatent conflict of interest. If it isn't what fun we can have with the idea.

Bob R. said...

Is this for real Hillbilly, or are you having us on? WTF?

Smithfield Sam said...

Once again, HBW hits for six in community reporting!

Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Nepotism to me.

Tony Hillier said...

Smithfield Sam .... and the Compost limply follows at a respectful distance, while peddling LNP propaganda.

Methinks, there are plenty more laughable chapters to come in the Boot Camp saga. Saddles could literally be ablaze!

Anonymous said...

Lovely bit of satire, HBW!

Anonymous said...

HBW, Gavein King championed this Bootcamp Bullshit. He led the way and made sure we had a "Bootcamp" on our doorstep. He was instrumental in getting it operational at all costs. "poor" stupid Michael Trout allowed it to be located in his electorate and now nobody in Kuranda will be voting for him. Michael, you need to stand up to Gavein as he is a typical schoolyard bully. When the break out happened the press went immediately to the responsible Minister Bleijie for comment. His gutless reply to the press- "this is presently under investigation and I won't say anything". What absolute bullshit. He is the responsible Minister and can't talk!!! AS the morning wore on and the people of Kuranda screeming for the Bootcamp to be closed in steped the Premier to save the necks of King, Bleijie and Trout. Trouty, you have just lost the vote of everyone in Kuranda. When the announcement that the Bootcamp in Kuranda was to be closed, what did Gavein say..."A good result for Kuranda"..Fuck me, it was Gavein that put it there even though he was told it wouldn't work and that the house wasn't suitable. Gavein, you can add this to the long list of failures you have delivered to the people of Cairns since you were elected. Charlie.

Second Anonymous said...

Hillbilly, you forgot to mention the Return to Country program whereby Indigenous boot camp participants are placed in paralegal training positions at David Kemptons law firm assisting Cape graziers to fight traditional owners.

Jethro said...

"a good result for Kuranda". Jeeeeezuz. Yes King caused the fiasco which should never had happened had he listened to people.
But no, King knows it all. Then he has this habit of not admitting mistakes, just like bloody Manning. Manning last said in the Cairns Post he was going to the Federal Government to get "funding" for infrastructute projects which had been stalled in Cairns. WTF??? HE was the one who stalled them. Like King, Manning causes a stuff up because he wont listen, then he wont take any blame for it.

Bob R. said...

Mackenzie to the rescue in damage control today. He's whipped up the good old crocodile issue again as a diversion to the Boot Camp stuff up, got Trout on the phone for half the program, praised Trout to the rooftops, praised Jarrod Beillje to the rooftops, praised the Newman Government to the rooftops. Yeah Trout is saving us all from a gory grisly certain death at the jaws of the billions of crocs teeming through the streets, he's a super hero. Hey never mind the people of Kuranda were more likely to be attacked or threatened by rogue kids from the Boot Camp, its the crocodiles they have to be fearful of!

Anonymous said...

Woohoo Bob of Mooroobool is on Mackenzie expressing his disgust at the Attorney General's laughing on Mackenzie's program over the Kuranda incident. Apparently he has also expressed his disgust to the Ministers office.

Anonymous said...

Christ now Warren Stench has been on the Mackenzie program for about fifteen minutes spitting and mawing away about Anzac Day. No matter what it is the LNP members have got to be on rugnuts crap program at least every day spruiking whatever shit they like.

Anonymous said...

I wonder why everybody is shielding Trout so much ?Kempton seemed pretty annoyed with some of the questions though and King has been missing in action lately . Maybe the love affair has hit another hurdle...

Sir Cus. said...

To the lady from the beach, SCOOT CAMP that was a classic, LOL.

Anonymous said...

Of course these slimy, oily, lying mongrels wont take the blame for their own stuff ups. Its always someone else's fault.

Anonymous said...

King will not be the member for Cairns after the next election so we just have to hope he does not send us to far down the drain, a boy who has his ambitions well and truly mixed up with his capabilities ,i hope all those wan king groupies ie Dot , pearl and the rest who voted for the prick are happy with themselves not

Bob R. said...

Somehow I don't think we have heard the last of the "Boot Camp" issue. I predict more stormy weather up ahead.

Anonymous said...

What do you know Bob R? Do you have some insight?

Bob R. said...

Anonymous, 20.31, only a lifetime of observing human nature mate.

Vi L. Schumm said...

A brilliant idea to put it on Troutie's farm. As we know, because Macca tells us so, the whole area is home to thousands of crocs. That will dter midnight absconders.

Anonymous said...

A note of warning to HBW commenters - by my count you have just, in the last week increased Maccas listening public by at least 50% -the next survey will show that 4CA listeners now outrank the ABC!

Bazza said...

From what I hear 4ca doesnt subscribe to any listener survey count for wanker shock jock

Bob R. said...

Coo ta Anonymous 10.50. So Bill Bloggs has now tuned in to rugnut's LNP propaganda show hey?

Anonymous said...

Yea well 50% of SFA is still SFA the sooner he is gone the better Cairns will progress

Anonymous said...

Just heard on the news that the Northern Territory has 100,000 crocs and will move them when necessary but isn't going to cull them. So even the NT is more enlightened than the average Cairns shock jock.

KitchenSlut said...

"Anonymous said...
A note of warning to HBW commenters - by my count you have just, in the last week increased Maccas listening public by at least 50% -the next survey will show that 4CA listeners now outrank the ABC!
25/4/13 10:50"

You are probably correct Anonymous and most particularly ABC Far North could look at the morning format with Fiona Sewell produced by the appalling bore Phil Staley!

Anonymous said...

Maybe Macca could go over and volunteer his time at the joke we have as a community radio station here in Cairns. He might have a bigger audience amongst the old farts.

Anonymous said...

That's an idea anon 08:13! HBW could take over Community Radio 89.1FM and run it as voice for the disaffected Cairnsites in competition with 4CA. I can hear it now -the voice of reason against the drivel from Macca. All that is needed is a couple of hundred new members and we could vote our own people into power. Any takers?

Anonymous said...

Where do we sign up

Anonymous said...

Go for it HBW - I'll sign up. Am thinking of moving to Townsville though - a much more progressive city with no shock jock to scare tourists away!!!

Anonymous said...

Didn't Gavin King, journalist with Cairns Post write a couple of pieces about the community radio station rorts? I think it was a couple of years ago but it made good reading.

Anonymous said...

wan king does not relize how much he is on the nose in cairns he has hurt and destroyed many familys and older workers with his support of his masters voice with cuts to jobs and services up here and they and their familys will not forget ,i just he will have the balls to say sorry i made a mistake after he is given the flick