4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

18 April 2013

DAVID KEMPTON CONFIRMS WHAT THE REST OF US SUSPECTED - THE MACKENZIE-SPRUIKED CROCODILE PLAN IS CULLING FOR PROFIT

Cueball MacKenzie has been frustrated in his desire to exterminate crocodiles from North Queensland, despite his best efforts to bring his local MP's to heel.  So strident are his feelings, he's been heard to call Bob Irwin and his valet, Colin Dugong "ratbags".  Because as conservationists, they cannot take one position on dugongs and turtles and take another on crocs.

So afraid is MacKenzie of Bob Irwin that he's attempted to shift the whole issue to Steve Irwin's widow, Terri Irwin - who he misogynisticly refers to only as "that American woman".

In a mysterious plan to "end run" the Department of the Environment, MacKenzie then began spruiking his own removal plan.  For $70,000, his mate Keith Cook is "guaranteed" to remove all the crocs in the Cairns Non-Regional Council areas, from the city to Port Douglas.  And admitting that culling of crocs is a non-starter, we're expected to believe that some 100 or more crocs currently in the city will be taken to Gordonvale and apparently put into community housing.

As the weeks have grown into months, it's become clear to MacKenzie that Michael "Hide the Backhoe" Trout wasn't going to get the job done.  His fellow MP's regard Trout as a lightweight, likely to get rolled in the next election.  So MacKenzie has spent this week ginning-up the "Croc Crisis" in Port Douglas with his usual shrill warnings that "our children are in grave danger".  And then he called the Member for Cook David Kempton - and the whole campaign went pear-shaped.

Kempton, whom Cueball is no doubt this minute calling a "greenie ratbag", wasn't so quick to want every croc removed.  If there's going to be a cull, he will of course want his aboriginal voters consulted.  And then he also confirmed the unspoken truth about the "Keith Cook $70K Croc Removal Plan".

Keith Cook will remove them, and kill them.  How else can he do it for $70K? 

Let's look at Cook's farm in Gordonvale.   Here's his website:  AUSTRALIAN CROCODILE


Say anything about "crocodile petting zoo"?  Nope, Keith Cook's company is going to come in and kill 'em.  And silly fuckers we are, we're stupid enough to PAY him to take them, kill 'em, and sell em!  Shouldn't he be paying us??? 

What a scam!  All this Keith Cook promotion should be considered commercial advertising for him by 4CA. 


After MacKenzie rushed Kempton off the phone, the next two calls were Kempton attacks.  It's no wonder Kempton stays well away from his two comrades, Gavin "Don't Rape Me" King and Michael "Hide the Backhoe" Trout.  Kempton understands the rule of law, and is quietly going about representing his constituents in Cook.  We're proud to have supported Kempton in the last election.


16 comments:

CBD Warrior said...

Anyone know how much a croc is worth after you slice them up? How much for the meat, for the belts and shoes, for the souvenir teeth and other pieces? Must be quite a bit.

Destiny Prophet said...

They can't kill any taken from the wild - only the offspring - so it's breeding stock they're after.

Tony Hillier said...

Perhaps the LNP should consider opening an old crocs' home at Kuranda, next door to the "boot camp", to accommodate ol' Cueball and some of his saurian mates in their dotage.

Second Anonymous said...

Speaking of reptiles - as a former government minister will Martin Tenni get the Thatcher treatment with a full state funeral when he finally carks it?

Anonymous said...

I think we should feed the old bastard to the crocs he hates so much. We'll put him in a large brown paper bag first. i will be interesting to see where Cueball's new campaign will lead to. His ability to suck up to local politicians and give them unlimited exposure, while bagging them at the same time, is quite remarkable.Anyone with a grain of self respect would just tell him to shove it. Why are they so beholden to to him ? The man is a self-serving lunatic.

TAS said...

I could suggest that Mckenzie devote his air time rants to the eradication of Box Jellyfish and Irukandji, a much more frequent and as serious a danger to humankind than crocodiles, but I guess the only solution to them is to stay out of their environment. Wait ... now there's an idea ... could that work with crocodiles?

Anonymous said...

Mackenzie is most likely on the LNP payroll. Makes sense doesn't it?

Dean said...

They go on his show because it's an easy way to get the vote of the ill-informed elderly and regressives in town. You can tell those morons anything and they'll believe it. It's easy votes, you just have to use ambiguous language and say you'll 'solve the crocodile problem' and they'll believe it.

'150 million is too much, we'll look into doing it cheaper' There's 30% of votes from the hillbillies.

'crocodiles are dangerous to children' there's 10% of the scared/bad parent vote.
Then you just have to convince a couple of other groups and you're there.

Lose the rednecks/hillbillies and you have to get every other group on board from the sports groups to the arts groups to the business groups. It's like herding retarded cats.

Second Anonymous said...

When was the last time Cueball invited Curtis Pitt or Jan McLucas on his 4LNP rant show?

ruby said...

I overheard someone making some false historical claims about legalised croc shooting in the Far North the other day on rugnut's shit program.
There is a book called "Crocodile Men" which relates the history of croc hunters in the Far North, by Bryan Peach. (Someone on HBW has mentioned it before.)
We had many professional croc shooters here, including Henry Hanush (of Hanush's Coridals fame), Lloyd Grigg and Vince Vlasoff who both built the Underwater Observatory at Green Island. Old Paul Kamsler, now at the Pacific Hotel used to sell the skins for them.
Shooting came to an end in the early 1970s at the request of the croc shooters themselves, who reported that croc numbers at that time, and as a result of years of open shooting, were in severe decline. rugnut himself has made a stupid and ridiculous claim that the cull was stopped by the "greenies". If the fool only thought before he opened up his big motor-mouth maybe he might have realised there were no "greenies" around in the early 1970s. Then again, the fool is incapable of logical thinking or even of reading our local history.

Anonymous said...

Just heard pearl on mckenzie asking sleepy bob if cairns would consider keeping wangetti in the cairns council area! And the stupid bastard said yes!!!

Anonymous said...

I heard that too and the bitch had promised us that she would move to NSW if Port de-amalgamated. Lying swine ! And then we had George and Raj and the cabbie bloke all coming out with the same old shit they call up about every week. I was surprised that that vitriolic old brown paper bag didn't call in to demand some special treatment about something or other.

Interestingly McKenzie then gave the bootcamp another bollocking with some very articulate ladies (Nathalie and Linda) exposing this total stuff-up for what it is. King has been keeping a very low profile this week. Maybe they had another tiff...

Anonymous said...

2nd anon @1432 more likely they will send his corps to prison where it should have gone in the first place when his appaling government fell.

Second Anonymous said...

Anonymous - That would be a privatised prison run by LNP mates.

Anonymous said...

Have not heard dugongman saver on cueball for months

The Hillbilly said...

Kempton is a poor excuse for a representative. You are dead right about him understanding the law. He just doesn't respond to anything which doesn't fit his agenda. Doesn't reply to emails or letters. Is happy to allow one big business to destroy the self drive tourism to the tablelands and run 6000 extra B-Double movements on the Captain Cook Highway. Look out Tourists!!!