Cueball MacKenzie has been frustrated in his desire to exterminate crocodiles from North Queensland, despite his best efforts to bring his local MP's to heel. So strident are his feelings, he's been heard to call Bob Irwin and his valet, Colin Dugong "ratbags". Because as conservationists, they cannot take one position on dugongs and turtles and take another on crocs.
So afraid is MacKenzie of Bob Irwin that he's attempted to shift the whole issue to Steve Irwin's widow, Terri Irwin - who he misogynisticly refers to only as "that American woman".
In a mysterious plan to "end run" the Department of the Environment, MacKenzie then began spruiking his own removal plan. For $70,000, his mate Keith Cook is "guaranteed" to remove all the crocs in the Cairns Non-Regional Council areas, from the city to Port Douglas. And admitting that culling of crocs is a non-starter, we're expected to believe that some 100 or more crocs currently in the city will be taken to Gordonvale and apparently put into community housing.
As the weeks have grown into months, it's become clear to MacKenzie that Michael "Hide the Backhoe" Trout wasn't going to get the job done. His fellow MP's regard Trout as a lightweight, likely to get rolled in the next election. So MacKenzie has spent this week ginning-up the "Croc Crisis" in Port Douglas with his usual shrill warnings that "our children are in grave danger". And then he called the Member for Cook David Kempton - and the whole campaign went pear-shaped.
Kempton, whom Cueball is no doubt this minute calling a "greenie ratbag", wasn't so quick to want every croc removed. If there's going to be a cull, he will of course want his aboriginal voters consulted. And then he also confirmed the unspoken truth about the "Keith Cook $70K Croc Removal Plan".
Keith Cook will remove them, and kill them. How else can he do it for $70K?
Let's look at Cook's farm in Gordonvale. Here's his website: AUSTRALIAN CROCODILE
Say anything about "crocodile petting zoo"? Nope, Keith Cook's company is going to come in and kill 'em. And silly fuckers we are, we're stupid enough to PAY him to take them, kill 'em, and sell em! Shouldn't he be paying us???
What a scam! All this Keith Cook promotion should be considered commercial advertising for him by 4CA.
After MacKenzie rushed Kempton off the phone, the next two calls were Kempton attacks. It's no wonder Kempton stays well away from his two comrades, Gavin "Don't Rape Me" King and Michael "Hide the Backhoe" Trout. Kempton understands the rule of law, and is quietly going about representing his constituents in Cook. We're proud to have supported Kempton in the last election.