4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

13 June 2013

HOW TO KNOW WHEN THE "FIX" IS IN. . .AN LNP PRIMER

So Cueball MacKenzie has been screaming the word "crisis" at least twice every week for two years now - the "crisis" being the planetary existence of crocodiles.  So obsessed with the crocodiles is MacKenzie that he's taken to spruiking his own crocodile solution.  So often does he mention this man, he must be a "paid sponsor". . . 

One Keith Cook.


MacKenzie is afraid that the communist pinko greenies in Brisbane don't want the same crocodile solution that he does.  At the head of this CPG group is the half-American Bindi Irwin, her American mother, and Bob Irwin.  Bob was quite the Cueball buddy when all he wanted to protect were turtles.  But intellectual consistency requires Bob Irwin and his Cairns valet Colin "Dugagman" to oppose the killing of crocodiles, too.  Unburdened with the concept of intellect, Cairns' radio Godfather MacKenzie wants the crocs whacked.  But he can't say so.  Enter Keith Cook.

Keith Cook was willing to play along with the "catch 'em and move 'em" strategy.  As long as the "moving 'em" was into his Gordonvale pen, and then out to his Woree butchery.  He can keep a secret, too - he's not catching these things for a zoo.

MacKenzie shrilly demanded a sit-down - and then Keith Cook was appointed to this "12 person advisory council" by Minister for Environmental Destruction, Andrew Powell. 

Then Wednesday our Premier managed to call in for a chat with MacKenzie (who warned callers that they wouldn't be posing any questions directly to the Premier, he was far to busy to speak with US).  And in fact Junelle managed to deflect an aggressive call about electricity pricing until after the Premier had rung off - GOOD JOB, JUNELLLE!  Take a fois gras out of petty cash.

But our level-headed Premier advised that Powell and Cook ('our local expert') have already had a meeting, and after a pro-forma meeting of the Cairns Croc group on the 27th, the Minister would be calling for tenders "for clearing up the Barron River and then keeping it clear".  Nothing about the Northern Beaches, nothing for Port Douglas.  MacKenzie ignored the fact that Newman CONFINED THIS STUNT to the Barron River!  

And after meeting with Keith Cook twice, how fair will the tender process be for anyone else?

Apparently Cook has already been given the "wink wink" - let the slaughter begin!

PUBLISHED IN THE CAIRNS POST 12 JUNE 2013


5 comments:

colin the one you defame regulary said...

I will comment, I like your story signed colin the dugagman as you just called me.

Anonymous said...

Some old bloke complaining today on 4CA that he had to sign paperwork for buying 12 casks of goon at his local bottle shop.p for his old fart mates. Hus alcoholic brain wanted to blame Gillard for changing the alcohol laws and he planned to stagger into Stench's office to complain. Hey dipstick, alcohol licensing is a state matter, not federal so go and complain to King. Meanwhile, keep slurping back your goon and do your research. As expected, Cueball did niot correct this stupid, drunk old fart. Enough said...

Anonymous said...

And when one considers that the Barron River is no where near houses and runs through cane fields and swamps why are they bothering to remove crocs anyway.The old salty near the old chook farm at straty has been there for decades.A recent count by me and others found no more than 7 crocs on the whole river.But then again a crisis is always man made isn't.It no longer is called a "crisis" when common sense is used instead.

Bob R. said...

rugnut has to come up with something to keep the hillbillies and rednecks stirred up about, rather than watching what King and Manning are doing. Its all a diversion from watching Cairns going down the gurgler.

Jethro said...

Youre right Bob. This is a diversion created by rugnut to keep attention off the bumbling, dithering ineptitude of rugnut's close friends, King and Manning.