4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

15 December 2013

AS AQUIS RAMPS UP, BIG-NAME ENTERTAINERS START TO TARGET CAIRNS - DESPITE OUR CRAPPY THEATER THAT WILL NEVER BE REPLACED

As word spreads of "Tony Fung World", the multi-billion dollar casino and resort to be built in a floodplain north of the Cairns Airport, already world-renowned entertainers are starting to flood into Cairns.

At least you'd think so.


In Saturday's Cairns Post, the one and only:


Over the years, Bob Marley's backup band had over TWENTY different musicians in "the Wailers".  Cairns is getting ONE, the 68 year old Aston Barrett.  Hardly "the Wailers".  Booked into The Tanks.

And you of course know Bob Marley has been dead over 30 years. . . .

Then appearing at Brothers Leagues Club:

For the cataract crowd that inhabits the Brothers showroom, they'll easily be fooled by this heavily-photoshopped photo of Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, and Kenny Rogers.  $37/person to get entertained by total fraudsters.









Cairns' own Fred Flange rocks the house at the Reef Casino intermittently at 11. . . that's 11 AM.  They may think they're "perpetually young", but a boy shouldn't be afraid of facing up to his own mortality.  Sponsored by Just for Men.





And big crowds are expected for the next appearance of
Michael Jackson at the Cairns Convention Centre.

To be followed in short order by the Buddy Holly, Country superstar Patsy Cline, Soul legend Otis Redding, John Denver, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and closing out with country rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd. 
  


ALL OF THESE COPYCAT ACTS BROUGHT TO YOU BY AUSTRALIA'S WEAK COPYRIGHT LAWS THAT ALLOW THE PUBLIC TO BE DUPED IN THIS WAY.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Geez Hillbilly, got a bee in your bonnet? Or just a chuckle of the week?

If anyone is silly enough to believe they're going to be seeing the real thing they deserve what they get.

Seems to be drawing a pretty low bow to link this to Aquis in any way, shape or form.

That said, thanks for taking the time to write this blog, it's very enjoyable and sorely needed.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 19:36, this is a town with a larger than normal proportion of sub-intellect mouth-breathers, therefore, it is likely that many do think they are going to see the real thing. And there's your link: this same group are falling hook, line and sinker for the Aquis con job. It's Skase and Qintex all over again.

Anonymous said...

What do you expect? Any musician with ambition and talent leaves this back water. The best we can hope for is the Barbary coasters, Nigel "I'm the only drummer in the village" Pegrum and Chris "back to the future" Lloyd. Thank fuck for I tunes!

Hamish Krint said...

Maybe Fung Shway will be able to bring in the real thing (apart from those who are dead of course) to his magnificent theatre complex which will seat thousands and make the admission price cheap - hah!

Anonymous said...


A potential plus from AQUIS is that they draw people from the CBD so it will decline further. Once rents are low perhaps we see it emerge as a music scene, cheap eats, local arts and crafts etc.

Anonymous said...

A bit of a turn up for the books, Hillbilly not bagging any locals for a change.

The Love Warrior said...

Well we have fake and pretend MPs such as Wan King and Backhoe Trout so why is anyone surprised by this musical revelation?

Anonymous said...

I see that the Cairns Choral Society still reeks of nepotism for the chosen families and all still happy to perform in the crappy civic theatre with the shit chairs..... Never a criticism of the current mayor and his bumbling loss of all the state and federal money for a new state of the art performing arts centre. Inbreds the lot of them and hyper jealous of any new talent that might move into town. I refuse to watch any of their shows and so do many of my friends.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else notice that after the infamous episode when the then top councillor Byrne ordered the "noise" to be turned down on the ACDC concert at the showgrounds some 2 decades ago the big music acts have all but dried up. We once had, Dire Straits, Dylan, Joe Cocker, Tina Turner,UB40 and the list went on.

Hamish krint said...

And do we have fake & pretend radio stations and newspapers???

Anonymous said...

Hamish, thanks to the internet I don't have to listen to the crap that passes for radio in Cairns or read the seriously degraded Cairns Post yet I can still be kept up to date with local info as well as what is happening in the real world. Pity more locals don't do the same thing.

Anonymous said...

With a resort like Aquis we may actually see the return of the above acts and the real deal instead of copy cats.

Tony Hillier said...

You won't find any "fake" music acts at the Tanks Arts Centre, just high quality fare. Incidentally, while Val Schier was a regular there during her tenure as mayor, 'Sleepy' Manning has yet to be spotted attending a performance at the Council's premier performance space. Oh, of course Hortense, Batman goes down souff for his jollies.

Anonymous said...

Elmer Manning baulked at air conditioning the tanks because he's never been there. Besides, there's a lovely air conditioned theatre on the river down the road in Brisbane.

Anonymous said...

Aquis will be able to attract all the top acts as well as most of the conventions. The CBD will be left as dead as a door nail, just like what happened when Cairns Central opened and the CBD just instantly went into death throes.

Anonymous said...

i see where 2 local bookies are given less than a 1$ for wanking to hold his seat

Anonymous said...


AQUIS say they will generate 36000 jobs for what 8000 average occupancy? Of course they plan to kill the CBD by sucking in all visitors, not just the ones that stay in their hotel. The magic bus will be taking your business away but hey, they are adults and can choose their poison? So we are told.

Anonymous said...

Yeah right, compare a development that brings an extra estimated 10,000 people at any given time to Cairns to a shopping centre? If anything, with the old casino earmarked as a campus (=students) as well, the CBD is set to revive!

Anonymous said...

Here is the bull shit of compost,
Poll results, "Has council taken the right approach to dealing with bats in the CBD".
Today No.34%/ yes 66%, yesterday arvo was 300 votes, No 240 Votes, yes 60 Votes, so what happens with these arseholes is they stop their poll when ever it suits so as to continue their propaganda to support their conservative business advertisers, tell everybody that you are being fleeced.

Anonymous said...

Anon 18/12/13 11:54

That rarely happens when the CBD was never the attraction in the first place. Few visitors come to see the CBD. It has always been a base. Port Douglas was popular for those that wanted the attraction to be where they stayed. How many that stay in Port have an urge to visit Cairns CBD?

The only reason they will go to town will be to depart the reef and then after driving through town to get there will have no motivation to come back for any other reason.

Plus what are casinos designed to do? Keep them on the premises, every trick in the book will be used to get them to stay on the property. You do not invest 4,2bn to have your guests wander off and spend elsewhere.

They will offer a free bus and with nothing to do in Cairns at night there will be more CBD based guests being ferried to the casino than casino guests being ferried to town.

I also imagine some budget accommodation popping up around Yorkeys Knob to trade in on the water park. Add some resorts that appeal to westerners so it may kill off Port Douglas as well. Why bother upgrading marina then? Ella Bay, why bother?

Anonymous said...

Val, as Mayor, also attended the Junior Eisteddfod at different sessions. The Mayor of Cairns is always the Patron. Manning hasn't been seen at any Junior Eisteddfod presentations since becoming Mayor. He sends Schilling or Claire. Not good enough for these your aspirants Bob. Wake up please.

Anonymous said...

Really Anonymous 12.11! Manning doesn't have to bother showing any interest whatsoever in the community. Ditto most of the Unity Team members. They're all on lucrative salaries, and will probably all piss off to a comfortable retirement at the next election. There are several Unity Councillors nobody ever sees or hears and because The Cairns Post is now under the LNP command, they receive no criticism for their invisibility and inertia.

Ivor said...

Funny that,billionaire Hong Kong Businessman Carson Yeung has been gaoled for six years in Hong Kong for money laundering,seems he also had interests in a Football team in Birmingham England.