4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

07 July 2015


 Cairns Federal Member Warren Entsch, who also serves as the Minister for Blogs, can only be described as an abject failure as our elected representative.

When first elected along with the John Howard government, he looked to have the ear of the Prime Minister and other front benchers.  While this translated into little for the Far North, Labor was unable to find any candidates to take him down.  

We should say that HBW is fully in support of same-sex marriage.  We're surprised how quickly public opinion on this subject has changed over the last 10-15 years - a change we attribute to the realisation by the public that sexuality is genetically determined.  We've seen a huge number of gay men and women, married up with straight partners in some kind of sexual identity coverup, that blow up 10 or 15 years later with disastrous consequences - usually on the children.  Elimination of these sham marriages with unsuspecting partners is good enough for us.

What most people don't know is that Warren Entsch has voted time and time again AGAINST same sex marriage, as well as domestic partnerships.  As recently as September 9, 2012, Entsch cast a NO vote on legislation he's now spruiking as his own private member's bill.  Entsch has also been reportedly heard instigating vile comments about former Cairns Mayor Val Schier - the core of which was derision at her sexuality.  Now we're supposed to believe his epiphany on gay marriage? 

But he's a pollie, and fully entitled to be on both sides of an issue.  Insert laugh track here.

In a bizarrely Brokeback Mountain-ish interview with a reporter named Tim Dick at The Age (really, you can't make this shit up) in June of 2006, Entsch describes growing up in some gay/transvestite friendly country town where he was the "blokiest bloke" around.  Wasn't that called "Petticoat Junction"? 

All of this interview occurred while Entsch was proffering photos of "his missus", posing in lingerie, to Dick.  As this was 2006, it is unclear if this was his most recent "missus", Yolonde Werner Entsch, to whom he married in 2011.  But it would seem not - Yolonde's daughter MacKenzie (named after ol' cueball???) would seem to have been born while Entsch was fondling another woman's naughty photos and proclaiming his "loving her to bits".  But we'll let someone else do the math. . .

It should also be noted that in Yolonde, who's held several very long titles in the federal government like "Acting Assistant Secretary to the Traveling Secretary to the Minister of Blogs", apparently struck up this marriage while violating the long-established principal about shitting where you eat.  She's now busy working the Entsch name like the networking pro she is.  And she's now calling herself "The Ambassador" for her connection to some locally-based hospital ship.  

Nevertheless, we're not here to question the validity of this,
Warren Entsch's THIRD marriage, to a woman with just slightly more hair on her head than he.  Let's say for the sake of argument that Warren Entsch, queer as a three dollar coin, has previously married and divorced two other women in an unfortunate attempt to hide his fondness for the lifestyle of his self-described nephew who had a "great set of boobs and short shorts, bouncing around", jealous of the guy later who "tested him out later".  (All from the Age interview - really, you can't make this shit up).

The inability of someone like Entsch to get married to his nephew, or any transgendered person, might have been at the core of these damaged "straight" marriages.  Hurting children and ex-partners in the process.  This is apparently at the heart of Entsch's steadfast, on-and-off support of gay marriage in Australia.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

A caller to the Cueball show, discussing a meeting of a group of to protest the lack of action by Warren Entsch on the insurance issue, said "it's not a gay marriage debate, it's something REALLY important".  Quick as a whip MacKenzie, keen to deflect any criticism of his matey Entsch, remarked "what is the context for that terminology?"  Like we don't all know what a catastrophe Warren Entsch has been for Cairns.


Taff said...

Sailing close to the wind with this one Mr HBW,clever little piece I must say.

CBD Warrior said...

Say Taff,
I agree with you, this is quite the clever bit of writing. In days past it would have been libel to allege that someone was a proofter. It would be difficult for this action to be sustained today, especially if one were the author of legislation making same-sex marriage legal.

Stories about this member's member and the male population of the tablelands have been making the rounds for years. Clearly the days of hiding behind "a missus" are waning.

Carol Plinz said...

With regard to your comment on Yolonde's hair style? All the girls in the beauty shop agree - this is a "dyky-do".

Not that there's anything wrong with that! harhar

Anonymous said...

I knew Val. Her only interest in the ladies goes only so far as a night out with the girls or gossiping with them and comparing the men they have all layed. Mckenzie started that rumour on his lnp talkback program to get all the rednecks excited. It amazes me that we aren't digging for the evidence of the talk back hosts frequent visits to SE asia or dear old warrens fondness for everything homosexual.

Anonymous said...

Entsch didn't turn up for the marriage equality bill in parliament so he is just attention seeking as usual. No guts to go through with anything unless there is political points for him in it. We need better for the north.

LoveWarrior said...

LEICHHARDT MP Warren Entsch has described himself as ìamazed and honouredî at being awarded the title of Back Bench Politician of the Year by the Australian Political Studies Association.

The Australian Political Studies Association is the national association for Political Scientists and International Relations specialists in Australia.

This year, APSA has decided to launch a series of Annual Awards to highlight the achievements of those in the political sphere.

The Back Bench Politician of the Year award recognises back-bench parliamentarians who make outstanding contributions to the Parliament.

In making its decision, the APSA assessment panel stated:

At a time when there is significant public disenchantment with Australian politicians, the panel was eager to present this award to a politician of integrity and conscience.
The Hon Warren Entsch, Federal Member for Leichhardt, is the model parliamentarian. His reputation for being both extremely responsive to the interests of his constituents and a conviction politician has placed him in a position of high regard both at the local and the federal levels.
He has worked on some of the most contested policy issues of our time (e.g. Native title, Water), and held senior positions in parliament and has always behaved with great insight, diligence and dignity.
In sum, Warren Entsch is a great parliamentarian because of his capacity to act with consistency, frankness and sincerity. (Quoted from newsport.com.au 08072015)

Hahaha! Conviction politician? You couldn't make this stuff up could you. Apart from his drink driving conviction what else does the great man show conviction on?


The funny thing about the Entsch "award" - -

He's quoted as saying that "he's very disappointed that he won't be able to attend the award ceremony, which takes place when he is ON AN OVERSEAS JUNKET (SORRY, DELEGATION).


Taeg Twister said...

I'm happy to see Entsch at least doing something on this issue. And as you point out so cleverly, it doesn't matter one whit about Entschy's personal life. Great take on the situation, Hillbilly!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious article and some classic commentary by Cueball. All that was missing was perhaps something included about the bald buffoon Kevin Brown, hermaphrodites and the Malanda town folk! Aagh yes, only in Cairns.....keep up the good work Cueball, we love it.

Seth at Port said...

In the 2006 media interview, Entsch claims that he will be introducing a Private Members Bill on Same Sex Marriage. Has he ever done this, or is it yet again more hot air and bullshit?

Bob R said...

Frankly I couldn't give a shit which way he hangs. The whole fucken world has gone gay marriage mad. Who gives a shit who can get married or not when the Chinese have moved in on our farms and are buying us out wholesale hey? Then Abbott goes and signs up a deal with China giving them the go ahead to bring in Chinese labour including tradies who are unqualified. I mean this is much more fucken important. I would of thought the Labor Party would be up in arms about this but what do I find on bloody facebook? Here is the Labor candidate for Leichardt some young flossy I never heard of prancing around looking like she won the fucken golden casket with a sign saying how she is all for gay marriage. Well fuck me dead. Thats going to put food in our shopping baskets in a few years time isn't it?

Anonymous said...

I think you have summed up there what a lot of us are thinking Bob R.

Alison Alloway said...

Once upon a time, Australia was a self sufficient country, with three productive industries - primary, secondary and tertiary. Since globalism or "free market capitalism" swept in the 1990s, our secondary industries have almost disappeared, all offshored resulting in loss of Aussie jobs and export income. The corporations don't even bother paying taxes in Australia. In that regard, Australia has been a huge loser. Now we are seeing the collapse of our primary industries with the aggressive purchasing of prime agricultural farmlands by the Chinese who are very open and honest in stating that they are all about "their own food security". Our agricultural land is under further attack from mining and coal seam gas operations. Not even Barnaby Joyce could protect the rich farmlands in his own electorate from a Chinese owned coal mine being given the go ahead. As the recent documentary on Channel 7 revealed, we just do not know how much of our prime agricultural land has been sold off to foreign interests, but we suspect it is a hell of a lot.
So, our secondary industries have collapsed, and our primary industries are under grave threat. So what are our politicians now saying? That we need to "diversify" by looking at "high-end service industries in education and health."
Where will that lead us?? A nation which has most of its diminished workforce employed as servants? (No matter what fancy tag you put on people in the service industry, they serve others.) A nation which won't be able to produce its own nails, screws and building materials and a nation which won't be able to produce its own food, but which can provide porters, bell-hops, nurses and tutors? A nation which will be weak and vulnerable to the demands of other countries. A nation which can be brought to its knees by sanctions or blockades imposed by a few foreign countries. A nation which will have to do the bidding of those countries which supply us our food, our clothing, our pharmaceutical needs and our building materials. A nation which will be so economically weak as to be nothing more than a vassal state. This is the grim and bleak future we are being pushed into, while Australians have allowed themselves to be distracted from realising their own destiny.