4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News

4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News
4CA - Queensland's Home for Fake News Led by John "Cueball" Mackenzie

20 April 2016

ODDS AND ENDS AROUND THE FAR NORTH

We occasionally like to present a selection of smaller, reader-submitted stories for your entertainment.

CYCLISTS

THIS PACK WAS DRIVING CARS
OUT OF THEIR LANES
The issues around bicyclists are a perennial area of discussion in the Far North.  A letter in the Cairns Post this week was from a bicyclist visiting Cairns as part of the UCI Mountain Bike World Cup - despite the fact that we have no mountains.  The letter complained that cars were coming to close to the athletes training on the Cook Highway and other locations around the city.

Residents of the Northern Beaches have complained about being run off the highway footpaths by speeding mountain bikers since last week.  And it would have been nice if someone had explained to these visitors the rules that require cyclists to travel in designated bike lanes in single file.  Packs of bicyclists have decided that they can pretty much go where they want.  Not a good way to get a repeat of this event, nor much of a model for our local bicycle psychopaths.

CASH ONLY

Residents around Cairns have noted an increasing number of small businesses with signs announcing "CASH ONLY" to their customers.  Our cynical nature can't help but also notice that these businesses are almost exclusively owned by Asian migrants to Australia.  A local bank EFTPOS consultant has confirmed that there is little in the way of red-tape preventing any small business from securing an EFTPOS facility.  

The cynic in us can't imagine any other reason for "CASH ONLY" but TAX AVOIDANCE.  While the rest of us pay. . . well, you get our drift.  

With so many of the tourism businesses around town paying "cash in hand", I guess we've got the whole system engaged in tax avoidance - small business and employees.  



MIGRATION FOLLIES

Last year, an American and a Brit on tourist visas decided to open a shop selling sugared ice water in Palm Cove.  They called the business the "Lost Eskimo", and like all those of the internet generation, set about promoting the business on the with obviously fake "reviews" on Trip Advisor and purchased "likes" on Facebook.  The reviews are easily identified as fake when they come from your mother, your sister, and other family members with the same last name.  HAHA.  Then just before Christmas they opened an additional location on the Esplanade - conveniently located next door to the very successful New Zealand Natural Ice Creamery.  Apparently quite a market for sugary treats on the Esplanade.

However, apparently not quite enough.  Both locations of the
Lost Eskimo now look to be closed - equipment stripped out of the Esplanade location and a stack of unopened mail gracing the floor of the shuttered Palm Cove shop.  At least one of the owners has apparently gone back to his home in the UK, and the Yank has been unable to be found by creditors.  This director, one Jeffrey Morris, is part of a West Virginia State family that is fully
engaged in the dodgy "Multi-Level Marketing" of skin care products that have received an "F" grade from the Better Business Bureau due to the dangerous formulation that includes known poisons.  


How can ASIC and ATO regulations allow companies to be set-up by visitors on tourism visas?  This seems dangerous on a lot of levels.  And we understand another dodgy company may be in-process by Mr. Morris.  Stay tuned. . .

ANDREW CRIPPS, MEMBER FOR HAIRCLUB

MP for Hinchinbrook appeared on the news Wednesday evening, railing about some issue or another. Everyone in the room had the same reaction when we saw him talking.  Why are those on the "right" of politics always wearing the worst hair hats?  


5 comments:

Frank Pagram said...

To the cyclists letter writer (who apparently can't distinguish between to and too): Cairns does have mountains, pretty much everywhere you look; and cyclists are not required by law to ride single file, or even in bicycle lanes. Nevertheless, we must get rid of these dangerous cyclists lest they kill or maim any more innocent motorists, all of whom unfailingly obey the road rules.

CBD Warrior said...

Great observations, HBW. I too have noticed the proliferation of "cash only" signs. There's a food stall at the Night Markets that is running two tills. And try to get a docket from any of them!

GerrardL said...

I live in Palm Cove, and saw the Lost Eskimo go in last year. Tried it. Meh. I too question how it is allowed that tourists can set up a business (and apparently leave the country and return on a new visa without question).

Smithfield Sam said...

Bad hair hats. LOL

Anonymous said...

yes I agree that it suspiciouly does appear to be the case our multi-cultural brethren that ARE the folk that are blatantly having a friendly lend of our hard working TAX paying citizens....fuckin annoying to say the least!!